8/23/13

Top 10 Kaiju/Giant Monsters


Yesterday Siskoid and a couple of his friends did a little crossover where they all posted their favorite giant monsters, and being a fan of the genre, I have come from the depths of the ocean to partake in this free-for-all myself.  Without further ado, here we go.

10. Glenn Manning (The Amazing Colossal Man - 1957, War of the Colossal Beast - 1958)

What do you mean, you're out of king-sized beds?
"What do you mean, you're out of King-sized beds?"
Poor Glenn Manning, survives a plutonium blast, only to be turned into a gigantic freak.  The fifties were a wonderful time for radiation, need to make a character bigger, smaller, super-powered? Sprinkle them with radiation!
Sally's "Visible Man" re-creation had gotten out of hand.

One of the few American International sci-fi/horror movies to get a sequel, The Amazing Colossal Man, while a little ropey effects-wise, deals with a man's attempts to fit into a world he no longer feels a part of.  A little returning soldier allegory digestif to go with your B-Movie entree.


9. Terminus (various Marvel Comics)


A dying race's giant middle finger to the Celestials, Terminus's only real goal is to destroy worlds the Celestials have "tampered" with.  A limited concept, but the initial stories are well worth reading.

8. Mecha-Kong (KING KONG ESCAPES - 1967)


Built by Doctor Who (not THAT Doctor Who, but he looks enough like Peter Cushing) to mine Element X at the north pole, Mechie's fatal flaw is that his systems break down when exposed to Element X's radiation, whoopsie.  He miraculously revives to fight Kong later in the film.  I chose him over the original Kong because he's kind of a sad sack, can't really catch a break.  Besides, how fun would these lists be if everyone kept picking the same characters?

7. Destroyer (Godzilla vs. Destoroyah - 1995)

King Who-dorah?
Say you need to defeat a horrifically mutated dinosaur that can breath atomic flames and is currently destroying the entire country and your only hope is a device called the Oxygen Destroyer, which for all you know has no side effect.  You'd use it, right?  Well, I hope that at some point you don't become too friendly with said dinosaur, because your 'only hope' created ANOTHER horrifically mutated dinosaur that is completely, totally evil.  Nice one.

Destroyer had a number of forms, and a subtle link to another of our entries!

6. Debo Akkumoon (Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger episode 25)

Yes
Akkumoon (which I believe translates to "sleep soundly") is our newest Kaiju, debuting about a month ago on the latest iteration of the Super Sentai series of shows.  I have not responded this strongly to a character in quite a while, but that may have to do with my hours of operation and relative lack of sleep.

Powers include - Memory Foam Shield: A memory foam pillow soft enough to absorb any attack, Super Slumber Attack: A body pillow that instantly outs you to sleep, and Hot Side of the Pillow Firebomb!: He lures you in with the "Yes" pillow pictured above, when within range he suddenly flips the cool side of the pillow away from you, flames erupting everywhere.

The team defeats him by getting hopped up on cappucino so they can't sleep.

5. Starfish Hitler (Kamen Rider X - 1974)

Starfish Hitler went viral when io9 posted a youtube clip of him on July 4th.  As a nerd, I was happy and sad that one of the craziest thing from Kamen Rider had gotten that much more mainstream.

4. Talos (Jason and the Argonauts - 1963)


Having skipped Kong, this is my paean to the somewhat lost art of stop-motion animation.  Ray Harryhausen's homage to the Colossus of Rhodes is, of course, an amazing achievement, and my favorite of his work, given my childhood love of Hellenic mythology.

3. Hedorah - (Godzilla Versus The Smog Monster - 1971)


This was the first Godzilla movie I recall seeing, and being a child of the late '70s/early '80s the environmental angle stuck out to me.  Hedorah appears to have been a favorite of someone else at Toho, as the multiple tiny organisms making up a Godzilla foe would be picked up later by Destroyer and in the Gamera foe - Legion.

2. Gamera (Gamera - 1965, etc.)

Twirling, twirling, toward democracy.

Gamera was the first Kaiju movie I ever saw.  It was late on a Saturday night, and for some reason I could pick up the Green Bay NBC station.  Rather than go to bed after sneaking out to the kitchen to watch Saturday Night Live, I was amazed to see a guy calling himself Ned the Dead, made up like a zombie introducing this weird movie about a giant flying turtle.  Even though I had to wake up for church the next morning, I was hooked instantly.

Gamera combines the best of Godzilla and Mothra - never a horror, always a protector, he's the Captain America of giant "monsters"
 
1.Daimajin (Daimajin, Return of Daimajin, Wrath of Daimajin - 1966, Daimajin Kanon - 2010-Present)


Daimajin leading the exodus from Egypt


While Gamera was my first kaiju film, the Daimajin series (and now TV series) dovetails into my other great love - Golems. 

4/7/08

Political Hilarity?

When I first saw this on the news (and great job getting the free advertising on Hillary's part) I honestly thought MADtv or someone of their caliber (say a random person on the internet) had made a parody of the original advert. Sadly, this does not appear to be the case.

Apparently Hillary Clinton believes there is a singular person in charge of the United States' economy, an economic downturn could take place in a very short period of time, and that person, in their time of need, would call the President at 3AM, looking for a solution.

1. I don't know about you, but I have a hard time putting thoughts together at 3AM, even though that's when I start work EVERY morning.

2. Economic downturns happen over an extended period of time, that's why all the experts have such a hard time agreeing whether we're currently in a recession, a depression, or just a slowdown.

3. If they happen more quickly, it's going to be tied to a bigger issue, say a 9/11, or a Katrina (although, the more centered on New York, the more effective the issue.) These issues are more along the line of what I expect the President to be dealing with, not a bank realizing it shouldn't have bought sub-sub-sub-prime loans and whining to the fed about it.

3/12/08

Note to Network News Departments...

OK, Enough already! We realize almost all of you are based in New York, but why are breaking into normal programming with special reports on that matters to say MAYBE 1% of your viewing audience?

OK, it may have been a big enough to be your top story when it first broke, but it doesn't rate anywhere close to the previously held standards for special reports, be they assassination-related, scientifically ground-breaking, or politically scandalous on a national level. If the Governor of Idaho, or even here in Illinois, had done something horribly, horribly wrong, would it rate breaking into normal programming?

Hell, the current Governor of IL appears to have been the major recipient of Tony Rezko's kickback campaign, receiving millions upon millions of dollars in return for favorable state contracts. Was this even mentioned nationally?

11/15/07

Congratulations!

I want to be the first person to Congratulate my wife on her new promotion!

We also looked at a house that keeps growing and growing on us, so all sorts of great stuff is in the air.

Congratulations again, honey bunny, you deserve it!

10/16/07

Oh, Oh my.

I have no words.

Wait, I do have words: Wizard of Oz themed Rap video IN HEBREW.

Two more words: SINGING PUG

Also: DANCEFIGHTING

I may need a couple of days to recover from the awesomeness.

Added hilarity:
I'm assuming the costumer for the video was trying to get a Detroit Lions jacket for The Cowardly Lion, but had to go with whatever was in stock at the shop he was at.

9/17/07

Drawing of the Day

A couple of months ago one of the guys who runs a website I frequent, but will not mention started raving about a Canadian series he'd gotten a hold of through one of his tape trading buddies called
Corner Gas (follow that link and you'll see how baddly I whiffed on this one).

I thought nothing of it, as I had no way of seeing it, but he just kept going on and on about it. It's recently started airing on WGN, and I agree with his love toward the show.

It's weird, actually, recently I've begun to watch with an eye toward how marketable a spin-off or remake would be. I'm not sure when this started, but I noticed it in earnest with the series finale of Kim Possible where I turned to my wife and said "I would totally watch a follow-up with either Kim & Ron adventuring together in/after college, or in a couple of years maybe Ron's adopted sister could team up with their kid."

We actually tried to work out whether or not Hanah would be too old to take the Possible/Stoppable child on mission with her, then decided that the twins could tag along and the follow-up to that show would be the Ron/Kim offspring on their adventures.

Along the same lines Corner Gas could easily be retooled to take place in a small midwest town with the little to no tinkering with the formula. The only thing different would be the lack of Canadian accents. Hell, the sets could be built around the east central Illinois region and everyone would think it had been shot on the original sets.

9/12/07

On the other hand, now I can watch a college-aged Horror Host

Here's a list of local channels available to the Champaign/Decatur/Springfield area via DirecTV:

CBS
WCIA
3
PBS
WILL
12
PBS
WSEC
14
NBC
WAND
17
ABC
WICS
20
CW
WBUI
23
MNT
WCFN
49
PBS
WEIU
51
FOX
WRSP
55

What's wrong with this list? There are THREE PBS stations, THREE! I love PBS, maybe more than the next person, but how many times a day do you need to see Arther, or Clifford? With WEIU's recent addition to the line-up I can now watch them at least six times a day each.

And still my station languishes off line-up for reasons unknown, losing money while the tiny college 50 miles away gets to broadcast their student newscast to half a million people in the area. Lovely.